Job Expired

Job Overview

Job Title SEO Apprentice to Eccentric Millionaire
Hiring Organization JLS Trading Co.
Company Website http://jlstradingco.com/careers
Remote Locations Worldwide
Job Type Remote, Full-Time

Does automating your way to profit thrill you?

Is learning new things like crack to you?

Do you thrive in a high-stress environment filled with political infighting, bureaucracy, and corporate nonsense?

If so, then we are the place for you, except you might hate how nice of a company we have – filled with happy, generally competent people that don’t put up with jerks. Frankly, it makes me sick how nice everyone is.

We are remote full time, have very flexible hours, people are judged by their output, not by how much they suck up to the boss, and turnover is super low because the company believes that happy employees = happy customers = happy bank account. Simply disgusting, if you ask me.

Is this a real job ad?

Yup! Amazingly enough, we actually paid money to post this on a bunch of different job sites. And it’s not even a pyramid scheme! Plus, get this: the owner just started paying our 60ish employees with money instead of Pizza Hut coupons – we’re big time, people.

Our careers page is actually worth checking out to learn more about how insane we are (sidenote: it won a web design award in 1993 – we’re a pretty big deal):

http://www.jlstradingco.com/careers/

And check out our reviews on Google, Glassdoor, or Indeed to see that it’s not just the founder’s mother who says we’re cool.

Job Responsibilities

We do a lot of different things these days including selling awesome consumer products (these are just a small sampling):

– Bad Parking Cards (https://amz.run/5Eya)

– Beverage Barricades (https://amz.run/6kip)

– Child Chucker (https://amz.run/9EUz)

Running this Amazon Pay-Per-Click agency: PPCFarm.com (we’re really, really good at PPC)

And we will soon be launching a SaaS product for inventory management.

We are doing our best to grow rapidly every year, and it’s our intention to continue that for as long as possible, which means we need good people to help us keep up with the growth.

Job Requirements

We expect you to have a minimum of 70 years of experience (120+ preferred).

Oh, you haven’t lived two lifetimes eating and breathing business 24/7/365? Who TF do you think you are, reading this job description? You absolute buffoon.

Oh, you haven’t been directly involved in at least two (preferably three) World Wars? You’re not even qualified to operate our coffee machine, you sentient potato.

Oh, you didn’t observe the Big Bang as it happened? Get out of here, you pirated copy of Windows 95.

I might literally throw up from your insolence. The hubris to think that you, you absolute fool, could apply for an apprentice position – absolutely sickening.

Also, no you don’t need any experience.

We want special people, and don’t give AF what their background is. Most of our best people did nothing remotely related to their current roles, so if you’ve never done anything like this before, don’t sweat it. We hire 100x more for potential than existing knowledge.

The Big Bang requirement still stands though.

What if I have SEO experience?

That is definitely cool, and we’d love to have you. It’s definitely not a necessity, but if you’re already a baller, we’d love to deploy your knowledge!

I have never done SEO before

Is this the job for me?

We’ll teach you everything we know, then we’ll pay for you to learn more.

It’s a heavily technical job – you’re gonna be messing around with the backend of websites, dealing with AI automations, but also doing backlink outreach, which means trying to find opportunities for us to acquire links from other sites.

There is a ton of opportunity for creative problem solving in this role. If you need to be around people all the time to be happy, this probably isn’t the right kind of role, but if you’re a nerd who likes technical stuff and finding creative ways to drive more traffic, then this might be a great role for you.

Do I need a college degree?

You just need to be awesome.

Are there any geographic restrictions?

As long as you are in a country that doesn’t have active sanctions from the US government, we are interested. Our founder isn’t known for respecting the government much, but they have all the guns, so…

Do you do anything black hat?

No, and we won’t want to in all likelihood.

This sounds pretty good, though I’m still skeptical that this isn’t a pyramid scheme.

You sound just like the tax authorities!

That doesn’t resolve any of my fears, but what do I need to do to apply?

Please submit your information on the following page to apply:https://jlstradingco.applytojob.com/apply/m5ShVYfti1/SEO-Apprentice-To-Eccentric-Millionaire-Fun-Ecom-Co-Great-People-Flexible-Hours